|Finding home in a homepage - an essay about dance, video and the making of this website|
(its an old picture).
Last year I worked again with dancer/choreograph-er Frey Faust for the first time in years. As we were walking home one night, he said to me, "Robert, I've decided to move back home." We went on a few steps and then I suddenly remembered something: "But Frey," I said, "you don't have a home." He thought a moment and then said, "All the more reason to go."
The web designer Julia Jüstel and I made this website in the Summer of 2007. My warm thanks to her -- and while im thanking -- I have to say it to our wonderful board of directors who are simply the best in the world! Thank you also to Mathias Reinhardt for his long-running support and finally to the homepage translators.
One thing that might seem obvious, but which struck me again and again as we worked is how little this has to do with dance! Even a website about a dance company -- even one with 600 videos -- is only marginally _about_ dance.
Well, Duh. A web site can't plie or twist or rebound out of the floor. It doesn't breathe. The thing about videos is that they _remind_ you of dance, but they are not dance. Its like that thing that happens when you watch a really good dancer, how your muscles twitch. Its the feeling of being a hair's breath away -- its exciting, but it is also like an itch you can't quite scratch.
For me this website represents the end of a big chapter and the start of the next. Making it was like going into anlysis: If you're going to re-invent yourself, then its good to have an idea of where you've been!
Not that I want to leave it all behind. Actually its more the contrary. I thought when I started digitizing all these old videos that I would hate seeing them. I really feared it would make me sick. The surprise was that it did not. Even if I didn't have the compositional skill to always carry it off, I can see what we had in mind -- what was _behind_ the work, as it were; what was it that drove me to make it in the first place.
I mean, sure, a lot of it was crap. But here and there is an idea and i think, hey, thats damn good! And, while I am not a big fan of my own dancing, I am a huge fan of others in the company... I remember how much we struggled, how rarely satisfied we were and yet looking back now, it seems so wonderful! !!
A New Leaf